The Matrix [series]
Hope
Genre(s): Angst, In-Movie
Rating: T
Character(s): Neo, Trinity, Cypher
Pairing(s): Neo/Trinity
Spoilers: N/A
Summary: What keeps us alive.
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Morpheus came into the mess hall during dinner, asking someone to take Neo something to eat after his training, saying, "He's probably too tired to move." I was the only one without a task except for Cypher, who was asleep on his off shift, so I volunteered.
And here I am. He was as exhausted as Morpheus predicted. So tired, in fact, that he'd fallen asleep sprawled on his bed, fully clothed even down to the heavy standard-issue army boots that hang off the edge of the bunk, still on his feet.
Stepping further into the room, glancing down at him over the tray with food and water that I carry, I fight the impulse to bend down and remove his boots.
Setting the tray on the floor, I look sideways, watching his sleeping face. He's so peaceful. Looks so innocent, lying there unconscious, and as I start to get up, the urge to lie down there beside him, to pull the blanket over us both and fall asleep with him in my arms, is so strong that I stop. I hesitate.
Crouched there for a moment, I gaze into his beautiful face, watching long, girlish eyelashes flutter in the midst of a dream, and my heart catches in my throat. There's no communication from frozen thought, which is good because I'm afraid that if there were, I'd be thinking something I don't even want to contemplate. Inhaling his breath for a few heartbeats, I force myself to my feet, wrapping my defences back around myself as I head out to the core.
Cypher is right outside the door, but my reactions are masked and I show no surprise at seeing him. He looks disgruntled, as he has for the past few years. I don't know what he's thinking, but I do know that I'm never going to let him in.
"I don't recall you ever bringing me dinner," he remarks, clearly biting down the strength of his sarcasm - he knows if he's sarcastic to me about anything I do, it'd be the last thing he ever says.
And why the hell would I ever have brought him dinner? He's such a lech it makes me nauseous at times. Neo isn't like that, thankfully.
I say nothing, preferring to lean back slightly against the wall and fix him with an impassive look that would have shut anyone else up. But it's Cypher.
He glances to the door of Neo's cabin. "There is something about him, isn't there?"
If he thinks he's getting an honest answer out of me about this, he can go hang. "Don't tell me you're a believer now?" I half-ask, my voice barely fluctuating. I still don't know if I believe or not, because I know that if I do... if I believe Neo is the One, then that means that he'd be the one I'm going to fall in love with, and I can't fall in love. I won't let myself. If he isn't, then that means we'll have to keep searching and suffer the shit for pulling someone that old out of the sewers in defiance of the rules. I won't make a decision that important yet, and until I do I only pretend that I am indifferent.
"I just keep thinking, if Morpheus is so sure, why doesn't he take him to see the Oracle?" Cypher's gaze is direct, fixed on my face for a change, rather than my body, and I sense his words have an underlying question. Does Morpheus really believe? Did he really pull him out because he's the One? He's questioning our captain, and he doesn't have that right. It pisses me off.
"Morpheus will take him when he's ready." The edge to my voice is like an iceberg. Fuck you, Cypher. If you don't believe, then don't believe, but don't try to sow seeds of disbelief in anyone else on this ship, I think as I turn and leave him looking after me.
Hope is what keeps us alive.
~fin